Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Dr. Spinecrusher or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Crushing Spines

"Sorry about that."
Well, something sad happened today at my local comic shop.  A *** ****** ******* idiot was running the store while the owner was picking up his distro from Diamond.  I was browsing back issues because I had a furlough day off from work.  I picked up three Tomb Raider #1 variants for a buck a piece and then found one Uber #1 in what has to be the best condition I have ever seen.  Mostly this store has a bunch of beat up crap in the racks.  It's like they just don't give a shit (because 80% of their store is for Magic and Pokemon...and whatever the eff else that I don't bother with).  So, I pulled the Uber and set it on the counter with my other cheapy pulls.  I was going to grab a couple more books so I could get at least $10 worth so I'd get my card stamped.  The idiot asks "You're getting these for sure?" and I replied with "Yes."  He grabs the Uber with his thumb pressed on the spine of the comic.  He ruined the only reason for me to buy the book.  It was just in perfect condition until that.  I think I was in shock because I ignored what happened.  You know how something can be so traumatizing that you mind  blocks it out until you can handle it?  That's what apparently happened here.  Looking back I did see it happen - the next thing I know, I'm looking through one of the mixed up boxes on the floor searching for something that I can't quite remember at that moment what it is.  I was searching through a box marked "The. -- Use."

When I didn't find what I didn't know I was looking for, I got sad inside but didn't know why.  I then grabbed three back issues of Walking Dead Weekly and went back to the counter.  Idiot was on the phone.  There was something wrong with the Uber.  I picked it up, drug my finger ever so gently down the spine and felt the deepest crease I have ever stroked with my fingers...on a comic book.  Before the thumb incident eight minutes earlier, the spine was proudly and prominently bowed out like a brand-new badass book with swagger.  Now...it felt like just another pussy.
Almost happened today

I had a flashback to the panel where the idiot grabbed the book and crushed the spine.  Inside I let out a Darth Vader "NooOOOooooo...!"  As soon as the idiot got off the phone, I let him have it!

"Dude,  you crushed the spine when you grabbed it."
"Did I?  Sorry, I'll give you a discount."
"Naw, I don't really want it now."
"Okay.  Sorry about that."
"It's cool."

Take that, bitch!

*sigh*  Sometimes I feel like I have a crease.

Anyway, I know it's a cheap book - but I was looking into the series after hearing some good things about it.  And this book was clean!  It was 9.8 +.  Just freakin' beautiful...until the thumb.  The moral of the story is:  Give at least half a shit about the product that built your company regardless of what's hot right now.

My dad owns a numismatics shop in Southern California that also deals in the philatelic.  He hates dealing with stamps, now.  But, stamps are part of what made his store the success it is today, so he gives half a shit about the stamps he sells and his customers...his friends...the people that helped make him the success he is today love his store because of it.  They love his store because they know he gives exactly one-half shit about stamps.  If you're a comic shop that sells Magic the Gathering cards plus whatever the eff else not comics - and you don't give half a shit about comics anymore...at least don't crush your customers' spines.

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